yes. definitely the worst day of my life.
the flight was 7hrs, i cried for 4 and a half. in the past few days i have eaten very little, slept even less, and bawled my eyes out. i am dehydrated. i'm still on England time in a way, and i have no appetite. i didn't even eat the double chocolate muffin on the plane.
leaving Chris... i won't even go into that, suffice to say that i've made a vow never to do this to us again. with every mile that the plane flew away from England, i felt like a piece of my heart was breaking. i spent most of the flight staring out the window, shaking my head. every fibre of my being was screaming at me - i was doing the wrong thing.
landing, no one was there to pick me up. i still had tears streaming down my face as i collected my luggage, but they dried up by the time my family came. the drive home was excruciating. my house has changed so much since i've been away, but otherwise - it feels like i've travelled backwards in time. i'm not supposed to be here. the contents of my room have been transferred to the basement. i can't even begin to empty my suitcases. i just feel numb.
i am putting all my efforts into finding a way back.

this is the last entry in this journal. i'll be returning to my old one now. thanks for sticking with me, kids. xx

less than an hour till go time. i'm nauseous and sleep-deprived and frankly, amazed i made it till now. (not like there was much sleep but) this is the beginning of the worst day of my life.
goodbye England, keeper of my heart! i will be back as soon as possible.

off to dinner in a sec. a real dinner this time too, haha. should be absolutely scrumptious. and with the best company in the world! i haven't been dumb enough to put make-up on again, but i am determined that i will not cry. how appropriate is it that we spend our last night together in a curryhouse? yay.

all day i'm packing. all day. and when do i spontaneously burst into tears? when i'm packing up my jewellery. i've picked up so much (too much? no!) while i've been here, and every piece tells a story. i just don't want to go, guys. is that so bad? i don't want to go back to Canada. i don't want summer.

"This is the first time I've actually felt sad about summer."
- oh kiddies, just wait till you've been doing it for three years. doesn't get any easier!